The festive season is upon us. And soon enough the nation will be buzzing with office parties that attract a variety of characters, like the ten below. Do you recognise any of these party goers, or are you *gasps* one of them?
More like twenty too many!
Everyone loves an open bar, but this person takes it a little too far. They’re tipsy before dinner, and loud and obnoxious the whole way through. By the time most of us are ready to hit the dancefloor, they’re already there busting out ‘the worm’ (or worse, passed out). This person’s drunken behaviour rubs a few people up the wrong way and always turns heads.
This partygoer possesses one of the most deadly weapons of them all; ‘the moves.’
Whether their trademark is the ‘sprinkler,’ the ‘bus driver’ or the ‘shopping cart,’ they’re the first to hit the dancefloor and they almost always drag a handful of unwilling participants with them.
The Chronic Over-sharer
You may have just asked if this person was getting up to anything over Christmas. But, somehow, an hour later, you know absolutely everything there is to know about their many cats and romantic romps (complete with pictures).
Beware of The Chronic Over-sharer and their conversational black-hole. There may be no escape!
The Dark Horse
Aside from the odd smile hello or water cooler convo, on a normal day this person barely speaks. But it only takes a few cocktails, and they become chatty Cathy; talking, singing, cracking jokes and ready to hit the dance floor.
The Disappearing Act
A.k.a the ‘smoke bomber,’ looks the same as any other party-goer. They’ll say hello to everyone and have a quick boogie on the dance floor. But while they’re doing all this, they’re only really thinking about one thing: their escape.
The Disappearing Act has their delivery down to an art; they’ll vanish under the pretence of going to the bar or the bathroom, and they’ll appear in heaps of photos. But they’ll also give off some warning signs, including constant phone checking.
Every office Christmas party has one of these. It’s the person that complains about, well, everything. The conversation is annoying and exhausting. But beware of trying to reason with The Complainer, this never works. Instead, politely show that you respect their opinion and then get the hell out of there!
Like The Complainer, this person will look like any other party goer, mingling, laughing and bopping along to the music. But if you look a little closer, you’ll find that this person has a close eye (and ear) on everyone. The Gossip tends to spread rumours that aren’t necessarily true. So check yourself. Otherwise, you might be the subject of their next session.
The Mistletoe Lurker
The over-friendly colleague (or worse, boss) that circles the party until they find their prey. Their interaction starts pretty innocently - perhaps with the offer of a drink - but then things get weird. If National Geographic has taught us anything about avoiding apex predators, it’s to stay close to the pack. So, stick with the crowd and, of course, stay away from the mistletoe!
The Awkward Boss
The Awkward Boss can part the crowd like Moses parted the Red Sea. And people will naturally be inclined to hide their drinks or keep their conversation PG-rated. But The Awkward Boss goes out of their way to prove how ‘un-boss-like’ they are. To channel the movie Mean Girls, they’ll be determined to show their staff that they’re a ‘cool boss, not a regular boss’. Prepare yourself for a few Dad jokes.
The Un-ironic Ugly Christmas Tie, Suspender Or Sweater-wearer
The Un-ironic Ugly Christmas Tie, Suspender Or Sweater-wearer is usually a Manager or Executive who proudly wears “ugly” holiday attire in a bid to be viewed as the life of the party. The Awkward Boss may double as this person.